When Leadership Misses the Mark
Serving in the nonprofit industry for a combined fifty-plus years, Kara and I have seen our share of leaders. We’ve served under them, we’ve partnered with them, and through it all, we’ve learned a lot. Those experiences have shaped our opinions as much as they have our own actions as leaders.
In the next four blog posts, we’re diving into what we’ve seen and what we’ve learned, both the good and the not-so-good.
Let’s start with the not-so-good. Sadly, not every non-profit leader leaves a legacy of growth, trust, and mission-centered success. Over the years, Kara and I have seen leaders that undermine teams and erode trust. It’s not fun to talk about, but it’s necessary. When we recognize poor leadership traits, we must make a conscious effort to choose a better path for ourselves and our organizations.
Leaders who don’t listen
We’ve known leaders who appear to listen, but only as a way to form their own opinions. The conversation ends, and what comes out of their mouths leaves everyone scratching their heads, wondering if they heard a single word. This kind of leadership not only devalues people but also stifles innovation and trust.
I was in a meeting recently and thought I was losing my mind watching a leader and her staff go round and round. There was a clear disagreement. The fundraiser said one thing; the leader said the opposite. Then the leader spoke up and said, “So, we’re all agreed?” No, ma’am, not even close. What was clear in that moment was that she had finished listening.
Leaders who don’t communicate clearly
A lack of clarity is one thing; constantly changing your story is another. Some leaders shift their message depending on the audience or simply repeat what they heard last. Staff, board members, and donors quickly pick up on this inconsistency. When they cannot trust what a leader says, they stop investing in the vision.
This one feels raw because I’ve lived it. In one role, the CEO would give me one direction, then after meeting with the COO she would decide on another course. When the COO called with the latest version of the decision, I had to choose: base my work on what the CEO told me yesterday, or what the COO was saying the CEO told him today? It meant more meetings, wasted time, and frustration. If the CEO had been principled in her communication — clear with me, or clear with the COO about what had already been said — it would have been kinder, clearer, and far more effective.
Leaders who create division and play favorites
On the surface, these leaders may seem people-oriented. The truth is they only value those they personally like or those who will always agree with them. Instead of building unity, they create a decision-making vacuum. Division grows, and those on the “outside” are left feeling overlooked and discouraged. The culture becomes toxic instead of thriving.
The word toxic gets thrown around a lot, but it fits here. Leaders who surround themselves with the same loyal group and never make room for new voices create an environment where distrust festers. I know one leader who has done this her entire career. The same circle of staff has followed her from role to role within the same organization. Fresh perspectives are shut out. Those who dare to speak up find themselves on the “outs.”
Leaders who change too much
Change is healthy, when it is thoughtful. But change for the sake of change is exhausting. Some leaders walk in with their own agenda, making decisions without listening to those who know the organization best, or even worse, without asking anyone why past decisions were made. Curiosity is your friend as a new leader. We recently heard a quote we love: “Don’t tear down the fence until you learn why it was built.” Leaders who ignore that wisdom risk unraveling years of good work simply to put their own stamp on things.
When a new leader takes over, it’s natural to want to shape the work. Some change may even be necessary. But too often we see leaders who overhaul programs or campaigns without understanding them. In one transition we observed, the new leader immediately dismantled a long-range, thoughtfully planned campaign. The immediate result was fear and distrust of her leadership.
Leaders who lead by fear
Fear-based leadership shows up in different ways. Sometimes leaders fear their board or funders so much that they make decisions based on pressure rather than conviction. Other times, they rule staff with intimidation. Either way, fear never builds a healthy culture. It silences ideas and robs an organization of courage, creativity, and joy.
At one organization where I worked, the board had released the previous CEO. The new CEO’s biggest fear became that same board. Every decision the development leader tried to make was undone if the board did not approve. The CEO was a good person who believed in the mission, but she could not get past her fears enough to lead with strength.
Leadership matters. We have all been influenced by those who did not lead well. But that experience can serve a purpose. It gives us clarity about the kind of leaders we do not want to be. For Kara and me, it has sharpened our resolve to lead with listening, clarity, respect, courage, and a relentless focus on people.
Leaders who can’t make decisions
Have you ever had a new leader come in, see them start to unravel things (without asking questions as we’ve already discussed) and then not be able to actually make a decision about the areas of your work that can’t progress without them? Same. It’s frustrating, it causes a level of chaos and confusion, and people start to feel like they’re spinning their wheels in directions that aren’t meaningful, directions that keep them from raising money. As a new leader it’s important to be able to understand the “why” – the fence scenario in this case, but it’s also mission critical for your team to make decisions and communicate them out effectively.
Next week, I discuss some ways to keep your integrity, protect your joy, and continue making an impact if you find yourself working for a leader with some of the shortcomings discussed above.