Stop Breaking Up with Your Donors: Why Lack of Response Isn’t a Reason to Remove Them from Midlevel

One of the most common and concerning questions we get is:

“If my midlevel donor doesn’t answer the phone or respond to my emails, should I just remove them from my portfolio?”

The answer is a resounding no.

And yet, this question persists. It usually comes from a good place. Midlevel fundraisers are taught that their role is to build relationships, and relationship-building is often interpreted as two-way communication. So, when donors don’t respond to outreach, it can feel like the relationship isn’t there, or worse, that it’s failed.

But midlevel fundraising shouldn’t be defined solely by whether a donor answers the phone. It’s defined by whether they continue to give.

Your role in midlevel is to move donors through the pipeline, deepen their connection to the mission, increase retention, and grow giving over time. Meaningful connection is certainly part of that work. But connection does not look the same for every donor, and responsiveness is not the only indicator of engagement.

In fact, many donors who care deeply about an organization never respond to outreach at all.

I know this firsthand because I am one of those donors. I work in fundraising. I understand the importance of relationships. And still, I don’t want phone calls. I rarely answer unknown numbers. I don’t always respond to emails. But that doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention. And it certainly doesn’t mean I won’t continue to give or give more.

Silence does not mean disinterest. It often simply means preference.

When evaluating whether a donor belongs in your midlevel portfolio, giving behavior is a far more reliable indicator than responsiveness. Is their giving increasing? Are they continuing to give at or above your midlevel threshold? Are they maintaining consistent support over time?

If the answer is yes, then there is no question. They belong in midlevel. Their giving is telling you everything you need to know.

On the other hand, if their giving has declined and remained below your midlevel threshold for an extended period, typically 18 to 24 months, then it may be appropriate to reevaluate their placement. But even then, the decision should be grounded in giving data, not frustration over unanswered calls.

Too often, fundraisers unconsciously equate responsiveness with value. When donors don’t respond, it can feel like rejection. But midlevel fundraising is not about our need for affirmation. It is about the donor’s demonstrated commitment to the mission.

Consider the donor’s perspective for a moment. Imagine you’ve given $5,000 to an organization. You believe in their work. You trust their leadership. You feel confident your gift is making a difference. But you don’t answer the phone when they call. You’re busy. You prefer to engage on your own terms.

Then, six months later, the organization stops treating you like a partner. The thoughtful updates disappear. The communication becomes generic. The sense that you mattered begins to fade.

Not because you stopped giving.

Because you didn’t respond to a phone call or email.

Most donors would feel the shift immediately. And many would eventually shift their giving elsewhere.

When donors give at midlevel levels, they have already demonstrated trust. They have made a meaningful decision to invest in your organization. Our responsibility is to honor that decision, not withdraw care simply because the relationship doesn’t look the way we expected.

Sometimes honoring donors means honoring their preferences, even when those preferences don’t include direct conversation.

We often talk about relationships in fundraising as though they must involve calls, meetings, and personal interaction. But relationships can also be quiet and consistent. Some donors will never respond directly but will continue to give faithfully year after year. Some will increase their giving without ever taking a call. Others may engage more deeply over time, but only after years of steady, respectful stewardship.

Midlevel fundraising requires patience. It requires paying attention to behavior rather than relying solely on interaction. And it requires resisting the urge to define success based on whether a donor engages in the ways that feel most validating to us.

Lisa often uses an analogy that captures this perfectly. She compares midlevel fundraising to dating. Your first goal is simply to get the phone number. That signals openness and potential. But you don’t go from exchanging numbers to marriage overnight. You learn preferences. You build trust. You allow the relationship to develop naturally.

Fundraising works the same way.

Some donors will want regular conversations. Some will prefer occasional updates. Some may never engage directly at all. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t in relationship with your organization. Their giving is itself an expression of connection.

Midlevel donors are not disposable. They are in the process of deciding how deeply they want to invest, not only financially, but emotionally. When we remove donors simply because they haven’t responded to outreach, we risk sending the message that their giving alone isn’t enough to matter.

And that is never the message we want to send.

The better approach is simple. Let giving behavior guide your decisions. Continue to steward donors thoughtfully. Respect their preferences. Stay present. Stay patient.

Not every donor relationship will look the same. But that doesn’t make it any less real, or any less valuable.